#1 That wonderful waiting room. I think the waiting room is the selling point of the entire experience, most have weird magazines sitting around (The kind that don't have jokes) or those disgusting pictures of unnatural looking filthy gross unbrushed teeth, (I love this ewaiting room decor. Wow doesn't those pictures just look like... a totally a disgusting mutilation of the human mouth.) or the increasingly popular pictures of super heros endorsing brushing and fighting crime with tooth brushes. You know the ones who are beating plack over the head with a brush or lassoing him with a floss.
#2 that creepy lady at the counter. She udders word of doom with her classic "They'll be ready for you in just a couple minuets" or when she wants to just sink your heart like a boat she'll pull out the ol' "Oh, hi they're waiting for you just down the hall"
#3 That creepy hygienist . She tries so hard to offer you some pleasant small talk while she pokes your mouth with some strange tool that your tongue tries desperately to evade for fear of being punctured. She obviously can't relate. "So, do you have a girlfriend?", "You want a prize for not screaming and crying and soiling my outfit?". Okay she is creepy
#4 That dentist lingo. So at some point that awkward almost a dentist calls in the real dentist. He pokes your mouth and ask if stuff hurts while she enters the info into the computer. They usually go back and forth with numbers like your mouth is a game of battle ship. Usually they just have misses but every once in a while they come across something: "eruption on b2". Look Mr. Dentist I have no clue what an eruption is, but I feel slightly uncomfortable with you using terms about my mouth that can also be used as volcano terminology.
#5 The unshared info. Mr. Dentist and Ms. Awkward jabber ask you lots of questions and confer among themselves about their meaning. Wouldn't it be nice to know what on earth they are talking about. Some tell you, some won't. It drives me crazy that they can't tell you. Eventually you'll hear them discuss it with the parent that brought you. You adults are lucky to not be in this position.
#6 The Taste of latex glove in your mouth. Just gross.
#7 Some dentists just can't handle kids under stress. I was once started panicing during a tooth removal. After having the shot Mr. Good with kids was asking me if I was ready to have it removed. I felt a little panicy and shook my head violently. Feeling very nervous he asked if I'd like more anesthetic. I shook again. "Are you sure" he said "I can give you another shot". Well I can't imagine what would happen if I had shook yes. I couldn't feel alot of my face until after lunch that day.
#8 The chair. If it wasn't weird enough having stranger filing through your mouth. They had to make it worse by adding that creepy chair. Everything was all fine and dandy until you started messing with that little lever and now if feel as though your going to take a jack hammer into my face. This chair feels casual at fist but then forces you under it's submission. I felt so comfy until you had to make things all weird. Now I am at the mercy of what ever tools of destruction are on that silver little tray. Not to mention that stupid light.
#9 The drive there. Too many butterflies are in my stomach when we drive towards the ol' Denty. I feel like someone is chucking tennis balls at my internal organs.
#10 The infamous statement. "You need to brush more" Last time I visited my buddy the dentist I volunteered to say it for him so he wouldn't have to go to all the trouble. Look captain clean I realize that. Next time He's got another thing coming. I have been brushing like 3 times per day and using floss and mouth wash. If one more dentist tell me that I will simply suggest that he come to my house and brush my teeth if he is so dissatisfied. So eat that Denty Man.
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