An Update

Despite our most interesting conversations About melons. I have decided to give you all an actual update. Several things that have gone on lately

I have had to two meets with my cross country team. At the first one (On Tuesday) I beat my record by 6 minutes, and today I beat that by three.

I have been making videos. My first youtube video is up and I have been editing a video for church tomorrow.

Well that's all this week.

Melons vs. Peppers

Today I would like to write about melons. I think melons are weird. Melon’s don’t taste good. Watermelons are taste like their namesake: Water. Why do eat these it just seems like a waste of money. If you want to buy something crunch and awesome, than buy green peppers. Green peppers are crunchy and tasty enough to be enjoyable.

Hello my bloglings a lot has happened. Two weeks ago was liefest. The big fancy nearly weeklong Christian music event. Yeah Wednesday through Sunday. Monday I had a picnic with a few friends that could have gone better than what actually transpired. It was a little weird having both my friends of the male gender desert me with two of the not so male gender to say the least. But altogether a good time.

Right now I'm blogging as you may well have guessed. That makes sense doesn't it. Well it does to me at least. As for you I have reasoned to be concerned dare you disagree. Seeing as the feasibility of someone else writing this blog post in similar fashion to how I would is highly unlikely. Moving on from this paradox I would like to confront you all with the future of my current endeavors. Or the future of what is to become my current endeavors. Indeed a slew of endeavors to come that certain. Need they even be endeavors and not simply enduring actions in canon of my life. Certainly ones that w- Okay I'm confusing myself. On to it.

. I have recently ordered both a very nice digital camcorder, and software. Here's hoping both are good considering their origin only traces as far as ebay. Hopefully they will arrive soon anyway.

Here is a ridiculously huge picture of my new very orange camera.

Certainly has some legitness there. Though the orange kind of gets inside my head a little bit. But I am not going to fret. A wise cousin told me once "Never doubt the grandeur of something orange". Actually that was like 10 minuets ago but I already think of it as a cherished memory.

here is the software which I am excited to earth's end over.

You have no idea how much of a great deal i got on this stuff. Dwight even pitched in half for the software. Which i figured is only fair considering he'll get to use it whenever he wishes anyways.

However my week can be as lazy as I wish until it comes. Your probably wondering what I would do with such contraptions. Well i already wrote up an interesting script this morning so I'd have to guess that something pretty cool will come of this.

Next week my friend Paul from Michigan comes to visit for a ... WHOLE WEEK. I cannot doubt this will be one of the most incredible weeks of my life. Maybe Paul can help me with this new technowonderrainbow of devices headed my way. I feel now as I should introduce Paul and tell you about him though I can only imagine that would sound somewhat retarded and make me feel stupid. The fact is Paul and I are just really good friends. And we have been for a long time. I doubt things could be weird since I haven't seen him in a while. Paul isn't really that kind of person. And considering I basically live to the outdoor YMCA that we refer to as the "park" is waiting for our constant enjoyment. Seriously my park is a beast with a beach and lake, zoo, basketball, tennis, and let's not forget running area.

Well I think I have you up to date now blogglings. I must investigate some issues now.

-Woody (Or wubi is you really prefer.)

Update Explosion.

So much has happened in the last week. I really don't want to write it all out now so maybe I'll grant each subject 3 sentences. That's still a paragraph right?

So on Sunday of last week Grandpa and Grandma Lorain came up to WI to visit us. They stayed until Thursday morning, and we had a full week of fun stuff to do. I was kind of sad they had to leave.

While they were here we went to the EAA air museum. They had a special deal where students could go up in a two seater plane with a pilot. Me an Dwight both went up with this cool pilot who let us steer a little.

My neighbor's sister owns the house next to my neighbor. She has hired me to mow the lawn and keep it up. I have another possible lawn job too.

For fathers day my dad got a basketball hoop. It's taken him a week but he finally got it and set it up. Lots of fun.

Pops came to visit on Saturday and left yesterday. He helped fix the front porch. We thought it was a good idea to wake him up in the night with a pillow fight.

Well there it is my for FB statuses worth of a post. Maybe more later.

Got it Together

Oh ok I admit it. This summer I have indeed slacked off with my summer goals. I have been many things up til now: lazy, tired, and complacent. But I hope today marks a turning point. I got out today and ran for a while. I didnt get as far as I would have like to. I kind of lost my steam when I saw that my path was blocked by a tent full of people preparing for something. Not wanting to bother them I turned around. Unfortunately I had more surprises ahead. There seemed to be a mama bird that had decided to go Kamikaze on any unfortunate soul that should walk between her trees. She didn't scratch me or get leave any surprises in my hair, but scared the tar out of me. I tell you people if you need some motivation running their is none better than some mysterious wing-flapping animal going through your hair. I shot off like a street thug getting chased by the popo.

I came home and took a shower, and played my drums. Write now I'm sitting here writing and it feels good to know I got some stuff done today, may this be a habit forming for the rest of the summer.

This week I signed up for a tech class to help out with some plays that a family at our school runs for junior high and high school kids. Tuesday was our first day and it we mostly talked, and planned. Thursday was optional because the group was just moving stuff from a storage center. I opted out of this because it would be easier for Dwight and my mom's schedule. All the same I'm excited to go get to do that. It should be a fun experience.

Even though I actually didn't go to the tech class yesterday, I still had fun. Me my friend Alex his sister/personnal driver drove down to the Fonduloc mall for some smoothies that my friend claims are the best on earth. I had to say they were pretty good, but the ice wasn't crushed and kept coming into my mouth as little watery bacon bits. Me and Alex stopped into Game Stop for a few seconds while his sister went to go look at shoes. We drove on back and I arrived just in time to see my dad get home and let me in the front door. It was a good day.

15 Years of Lessons. Here's Two More

Well my blog bud today I stand here a whole 15 years old. Yesterday was the magic day when 15 years ago, I was born. I really don't get why my mom even tells me about my birth because it must have been traumatizing. I am ashamed to think I almost killed her. She blames it on my big head. But on my 15th I chose to think about more positive topics.

Yesterday I went to one buffalo wild wings with my friend Luke and completely had my pants embarrassed off me. Now when it's your first time at BWW they will let you try different sauce samples with corn chips. Let me tell you friends a chip dip is a whole world of different compared to the actual flame smothered wings. This world of difference in hotness is all due to how much you eat on the chip and the fact that I'm prertty sure my friends the chicken wings had a nice flaming bath before they took the long dark road to my gob. The people at BWW have an entire scale of sauces that they rate from smilin to sizzlin to screamin. Well one sauce away from screamin (The second hottest sauce) really should be labled cryin. That's exactly what I did. So of course mom had to get out her phone and take that little snapshot. Maybe I should have been smart like my friend luke. He just had some chicken and fries.

If the burn wasn't bad enough some family member who is to remain nameless broke the silent birthday code. Whenever you have a birthday at a restaurant you do not under any circumstances (Listen here children) tell your waitress that it is your or anybody else's birthday. It will result in one of the following case studies: The very enthusiastic vocal talents of the Italian restaurant singing choir, The Mexican Place Ambush Committee, (Complete with maracas and sombrero.) or in my case Mircophone-Man. I do not know his name so I am reffering to him as MicroMike. (Even though he was kind of a tall guy.) MicroMike asks everyone for their attention and alerts them that it is my birthday. Thanks Mike. I'm sure you made mine and everyone's happy-sunny-rainbow-unicorn-filled day. Everyone looks at mike for a split second and then most looked back at their food. At least this is what I seemed to think. If M-M hadn't given me a birthday flame crown and some ice cream I may have well gotten up and smacked him back to wherever he came from. Seriously he came out of nowhere though.

Luke is part of the reason I'm so stinking tired right now. When we got Luke from his house to go eat I had no idea we'd stay up talking and playing games until sometime after 4 o'clock. In retrospect staying up late is not my strong suit and something I should really have stopped doing around 3 or maybe even 2.

Two huge lessons from my first day of year 15.

WHHOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO Summer

Well so far my summer is awesome. I saw Prince of Persia with two of my buddies today. Me and dwiterz have just been hanging out. That is kinda all there is to say.

Basically Summer

Well Ladies and Gentlemen (Dang that is like the worst way to start blogging. That's an intro I'm never going to try again.) Tomorrow is my last day at school and summer calls to me with open arms. I have but to do finals tomorrow and then I shall escape the chains that bind me into a (Insert intelligent end of metaphor here). I have decided to all-together boycott this waste of a perfect day. I from now on no longer acknowledge the infamous day until it is over. I was going to write a sentence here about something but I have a feeling I boycotted it. So on to a new paragraph. (Wow. That was kinda cheesy.)

Well so far I'm off to a good start on my summer goals. Today I ran/jogged/walked down to Aimes Point the beautiful stretch of land that curves out into the middle of the waters around the road. I guess technically this is an isthmus, peninsula, strait, or something fancy like that but due to the recent outbreak of summer I no longer feel the need to describe it to you, as that seems like a school sanctioned activity of which I have abandoned. To make a long story short you really want some jogging shorts t go jogging. The lack of this will result in the most uncomfortable form of jog-wear known to man. The second thing I learned is that I am in need of a lot more of these little running trips that I just did. Thus said making it even more necessary to do this everyday.

My second so far declared summer project is my web site. I have decided to revamp it and add functionality. So far I have this:

I know it's just a header. But it will get better. The site's main purpose is to host all the cool stuff I'm going to make this summer and hopefully go off from there. I plan on hosting games, videos, and maybe some music. This isn't going to be as much of a hobby site as I hope for it to be more of a legitimate studio site. I want my friends to be in on this. Especially with making videos. My eventual hope is to get a nice camera, and do some vids with my friends. After all I have tons of acting friends, this could have potential.

To finish a great school year (Referring to friends by saying great. Not school work.) we have our 8th grade graduation, and parties. It should be a great time. My friend Kyle is having a camping trip in his yard tomorrow night, and my pal Gabe is holding an after party for the graduation on Thursday. Sounds like good fun.

Well another day another blog post. (Actually that's really not how it works but for the sake of clee-shay-ness I said it anyway)

-Woody

Another Update

Right now I'm sitting in the basement of our dear friend/almost family member Eldon, who we lovingly refer to as It's kind of hard to explain how we have this pops so I'm just going to call him my uncle, or godfather or something. He's just awesome we'll leave it there. Anyway I am skipping my third day of finals to sit here in his basement in Indiana which I sort of think is a summer-home, or rather a home away from home.

This is my last school weekend and after Tuesday I'll be done for the summer. Just relaxing and taking it all in for now, but I hope I don't get killed by those last two final exams I have left.

Today blog buddies, I shall share with you my top 5 and bottom 5 things.

Top 5:

1. An Icee slushy
2. Applying something new to a project or daily life
3. Family get-togethers
4. Hanging out with friends
5. Starting and finishing projects

Bottom 5:

1. Old people (And I'm talking pre-historic) having teenage soap opera love moments in public. That's just gross.
2. Overly cheesy adults that treat you like a toddler. "Helllo, I'm sally, and your mommywanted me to watch you while she's in the hospital" GO AWAY SALLY! I'm so thankful that I haven't met anyone like that lately.
3. Mistaking milk chocolate for dark chocolate
4. Feeling guilty for something beyond control
5. Those annoying Facebook pages that everyone "Likes". Those things spread like a wildfire. Everyone just clicks like, and there is no way to get it out of your newsfeed.

Well that's it for this quick post.

That Time Of Year Again, The Best Time.

Well, friends it seems we have come to the end of our school years rope. I have two more days of school to take my finals and then it's time for us to cast of our lady the S.S. Freedom with a good classic bottle of wine for a journeys good luck. The only question of this oh so epic of journeys starts here before we cast off. Shall I proceed to climb this rope to the top or simply burn it off? I feel incredibly impatient now and feel as if studying is in sorts a bit of a waste of time. I feel confident in most things, but at the same time I feel like if I don't the very balance of Karma itself will come to roundhouse kick me in the face. So is it wise to cast off our lady freedom, the finest ship in the fleet with such clouds over-looming? (Pardon my poetic overuse.)

On the brighter side of this situation are my plans for this summer. I plan on a very productive summer. My daily plans include running every morning to train for cross-country next year, going to the library once a week, and teaching my self new technologies.

I have tons of ideas for fun projects too:

I have great ideas for a short movie.

I might write a song or two.

I'm going to learn how to make some cool games.

But I don't want to be a shut in this summer so I want to have lot's of time with friends, and lot's of activity going on. I don't want for one second to feel bored, so I've come up with an armada of ideas to combat it. This is a great summer for making stuff and hanging out so I'm going to take full advantage.

Here is my thoroughly unimpressive palm tree. I spent very little time drawing and too much time trying to make it look cooler than it really was.

Technology So Enjoys Getting Me Excited for Nothing.

Oh yes this is a techno-logic special those who bore easily should suck it up.

The majority of this weekend was spent trying to download Microsoft's new visual studio 2010 express, and silverlight4. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about you have two options look it up, or read the thoroughly ridiculous insulting dumbed-down exprlansation I'm about to give.

The magical stuff that makes your internet explode with coolness, and the geeky crap used to make it. It's powered by leprechaun gold that was used to make computer tools.

Yeah. That good stuff. So anyway first I had to find the program before i could get the protocols. I looked it up, and realized i was looking at a professional version that would cost me many moneyz . So I talked to a customer service rep via a chat system; Mitch was his name. Mitch was helpful and nice and pointed me in the right direction, that's when things started to go awry. I realized that the magic microsoft download cool web stuff thing wouldn't let me download it. Mitch said I should call customer service so I did. I talked to a robot who eventually led me to some tired empty soul of a man who really hadn't had his coffee. This guy was not a clear speaker and made me feel like a total looser for not hearing him over my phone. (Which get's terrible service in the house.) He asked my name and phone and email, (Which I was reluctant to give him. I get enuff spam already thank you.) put me on hold which gave me some funky music an advertisement and eventually hung up.

Fed up with this I tried again this time I inquired about the other technology I was looking to download. This lady was equally uninterested, and tired. She made me give her my identification well. She then went on to ask me what my registration code was. I gave it to her and she referred me to dell my manufacturer, or pay 50 bucks to talk to their technician. HOW ON EARTH COULD DELL HELP ME WITH MICROSOFT SOFTWARE? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT WORTHLESS AS CUSTOMER SERVICE PEOPLE?

Eventually I realized that internet explorer (the hodge podge piece of crud that uses everyone else's original features) was blocking the download request. (May I remind you this is Microsoft's own tech and they feel the need to block their own content. No wonder I hate that program.) After unblocking it. The web platform installer told me I could not run the download on my operating system. So I updated to windows XP service pack 3. Now when I download any of that stuff It just gives me a plain error.

I do have an idea though. I am getting my revenge on their customer service department.

I have my dialog all planned out.

Lady: Hello thank you for calling Microsoft. What is your first name?

Me: Jimbeaux

Lady: Last Name?

Me: Larraby

Lady: Ok jimbeaux what is you phone number?

Me: Mother hasn't given me my phone back. I'm using hers and she won't let me give nobody her number. One time we were at a bar and she was a drunk as a skunk and gave her number to everyone in that whole dang bar. Later during her hangover she listened quite a few weird messages.

Lady: Ok. (Trying not to sound awkward.) Do you have an email?

Me: No I don't believe in email; It's just the government using technology to send anti freedom subconscious messages to our sorry little brains.

Lady: (This time sounding very awkward.) What seems to be your problem?

Me: My computer is spewing out all sort a weird stuff onto my screen. I was cleaning out my drive yesterday and I think I deleted an important folder called system 32.

Lady: Ok let me-

Me: Oh no little Mikey is putting buttered bread in the toaster again! I told mother marrying my sister was a bad idea!

*Hangs up*

Todays little technotip: This thing:

That's the hp slate. So cooler than an Ipad.

A guy Named Rocket Launcher.

Greetings my bloglings. Today I shall share the story of late with you. It has come down to the end of the week. Oh and what a week it has been. There are only two more left and I'd have to say it doesn't seem that close. But for now there is only to blog about it. So now I'll star off with this week's story.

In class random discussions come up alot in study hall. This one always makes me laugh. Some of us started discussing names for our future children. Out of the blue I decided I'd probably name my son Jimbo. However Jimbo is to common of a redneck country hick name so I thought it might be better to christen him with a French title: Jimbeaux. Putting that weird Idea behind me I thought of an even better name: Rocketlauncher. My friends and I stopped to imagine the possibilities of a child named Rocketlauncher. (Of course I had to use some poetic license on these situations for more blog effect.)

Situation 1:

My son walks into an airport and is stopped by a customs officer. "What's your name?", he asks. "Rocketlauncher", my well behaved son replied simply. "Umm... You going to have to come with me sir", the officer counters, and detains him for 24 hours and sends him home.

Situation 2:

In spite of my son's poor experiences in the airport industry he decides to try again, this time succeeding. He leaves for Iran for an international meeting. On his way to meet a very important generic business guy. There vehicle is stopped by radical Terrorists. The oddly named business man, my son has turned out to be exits the car to speak with the terrorist in perfect Iranian. "What is the meaning of this?". "Are you american?", their leader asks "What is your name?". "My name is Rocketlauncher and -" The radicals cheer and raise him over their shoulders. They are happy until they realize that their missiles will not fit down his throat. He escapes with his business associates and make it back to an airport where they are sent back to america. On the way another terrorist blows up the plain. Back in some federal security office an investigator interrogates the Iranian airport manager. "Who did you let on that plain?", he demands. "Nobody special, except for one guy named Rocketlauncher."

Pic of the day

Here's something I made with GIMP

My life has been incredibly stressful right now and painting this has helped me calm down a bit. Don't you just want to hang it in a children's hospital? Maybe you will see more of this kinda thing later my blog followers. For now it's just this.

Stupid Things

Have you ever just wanted to grow up. In all seriousness sometimes I wish that I could just grow-up and skip these awkward in-be-tween years of life called the teenage era. As silly as it sounds I think we could have a lot to gain in just getting it over with. No more school, no need to leave your friends by going to college.
Have you ever met that one person (probably of the opposite gender) that you knew you would want to be around for the rest of your life. You know there is no pointed in dating or getting in some relationship now. But if you were older you would seriously consider dating or at least staying in personal contact the rest of your life. I hate it when I meet those people and the thought comes that I am probably going to go off to college and never see them again. That's such a depressing feeling. I even get it now whenever I meet someone that's just awesome, and I have to move. I don't know them well enough to keep in contact for a long time, but I wish I did. If I were an adult I would be where I wanted or felt comfortable going (all in God's plan of course) but I could drive places and do something about these people I knew not well enough.
I think we all come to that point in our lives where we are just sick of it. Be it school or our schedules or even our people. I just want so bad to grow up and skip the rest of school. Don't ask me how I'll make up the lack of education. (Why do you think they invented osmosis. I will simply put a bunch of books under my pillow.) I want to get married, start working and feel in control. High school is next year and I don't know if I can deal with all the stress.
The feeling of being stuck for 8 or 9 more years until life can really begin is just really depressing. But now there is only to dream, hope and plan. I sit here on my couch just thinking about what I want to do, and what I want to be. So it is now at the crossroads in my life I must start to prepare for this; to work towards a better self and a better future.

Moving and Mario

Well, my readers *cough cough* cousins *cough cough* this is my first post from the my new abode. What's even cooler than the house itself is the story behind it. This place is a wonderful 1920s home built by the carver family from their ice cream business. I love this house so much. Right now everything is chaotic and extended family is about running around talking and such. I have a suspicion that i will break out into insanity quite soon. The ever present feeling is being pushed aside by many things. One would be the constant echoing of sound of the walls of the house, accompanied by lot's of TV, computing and texting. But most of all, Mario. That's right Mario: everyone's favorite Italian plumber (With Luigi in a close second.) Mario and I have been fair weather friends throughout most of my life. I remember my first Mario game at age 5. I had been given the Nintendo Gameboy Advance. (which in reality is not quite that advanced as it once was.) Accompanying this Gameboy was Nintendo's own plumber in red. Mario. I still treasure this game today and play it a lot at least once a year. This would be that time of year. That's right. Me and Mario go way back.

Although I have been a little disappointed in some of his latest titles. This game Super Mario World is probably his finest moment. This game was originally created for the super Nintendo and was moved with a bunch of other games to the GBA. This game gave mario some of his best powers and awesomest levels. Mario is one of the reasons I'm not going to go scream at some inanimate objects for no good reason right now. (Yeah sorry that was weird.)

There he is in all of his glory. Giant Bullet beware.

Readers (Hi Allie and Lindsay, and Mrs. G) I'm terribly sorry for that lack of structure in this blog post. But I just have to say that I am trying very hard to keep it all together right now. Please bare with me. Oh By the way here is a video that has made me laugh a lot lately. Kudos to alex my bud for show'n me it.

(For those of you who would like to skip 2 crude words please skip the first 18 seconds.)

The Crazy Week

I am feeling the urge to skip the ever-present chatty small talky side notes and intros of this blog to briefly tell you the reasons men in white suits are going to cart me off, but for the sake of your interests I will be as enjoyable as possible and not make my cruddy week both our crummy week.

So let's just start with a typical list.

Moving: So as you may have read in a genetically similar author's blog. we have a really cool new house. no complaints it's awesome. I have a awesome room that is a lot bigger than my previous

with it's own laundry shoot. No definitely no complaints there. Cool rooms, big French doors, arch ways, breakfast booth. Oh and did I mention, Lake Flies? Uhh yeah welcome to oshkosh home of the may lake fly. Check out this photo from someone in the area Yeah that picture is a lot nicer than the situation my new house. There is not a square inch of the outside of our house not covered in these evil pests. Yeah. You can see clouds of them in the sky. They only last for a few weeks I'm told so I am not loosing my pants quite yet. But, on the other hand THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. and you can't crush them either. I found out my self that the only way to get them off is to blow on them so they fly off. Otherwise you get a green mess all over your self. I am not one to freak out about bugs. But they are just annoying. Really. The aforementioned Mrs. Z. was helping us move stuff yesterday. She says it's even worse where they are. Worse? Wow. I have a respect on an entire new level for you now Mrs. Z.
I love our new house. I thought moving all our stuff down the street would be a nice easy transition. So much for that transition.All our stuff is going this way and that. And on top of that we have family coming to stay over this weekend.
School: If I seem ticked about lake flies, it is only a minor aggression. The real issue at hand is my schoolwork. For my friends and family that know me you all know that THIS COULD NOT HAVE BEEN A WORSE WEEK to schedule to chapters worth of chapter reviews maps and work sheets and then make sure no-one gets any done in class by making us fill out tables of states provinces and countries in order of population and area. Oh did I mention that their is a report due next week. I don't get what this teacher wants. I even asked him "Mr. person, what do you want? Money, Power, Real-estate? Can we work something out here? " Please pardon my outrageous outbursts. It's just pressure. I admit I am probably the first person to complain about any homework, but when you add busy work to the list it to make it impossible to do in class it just gets personal.

Now for a change of pace. Something to sooth my mind. Today's Computing Tip: Pandora RadioThis week would be but a slowly melting piece of butter on a summer sidewalk in negative slow motion without some sort of help. This help is called Pandora. This is probably one of the coolest free things on the internet. Pandora is a free internet radio player that plays music from bands you like as well as similar artists. You have several stations from all your favorite bands. I juat love how it can just assemble songs and I don't have to think about it. I listen to Pandora during homework. It helps me throw out scattered thoughts. Pandora is totally free and I'd recommend it to anyone. Here's a screen shot.

It's hard to explain how Pandora works. You just have to try it for yourself. Although it's free the ads seem to be around every corner. It has video, audio, animated, and background ads. Yes these are annoying, but I am a little more concerned with the selections of your station. I made a Switchfoot station to listen to Switchfoot not Hawk Nelson. I have another station for Hawk Nelson. The same goes for other similarly minded bands. They each have different sounds and feels. I feel like Pandora compiles my artists and plays them on each other's stations if they are similar. I sure don't know how else Relient k comes up in Owl City. The Postal Service I can understand, but not them. Pandora has a feature that allows me to tell them to play those kinds of songs on a different station, but that doesn't seem to do anything. (I just noticed how My rant has been longer about this than maybe the rest of my article. I am not in a good mood today.)

Overall Pandora is a great service. Go get an account.

A Brief Record of Happenings

So it's been a long time for this blog. Time to blow the dust off with a random fact sheet of what I've been doing.

Spring Break: I mostly messed around during spring break. Me and a friend tried to make a goofy rap video to make tribute to it's awesome powers of relaxation and awesome. Well that didn't go so well. The song was cheesy and we found ourselves out of time to finish it. Now that I'm thinking of it. I will go delete that. There. Now those embarrassing files are gone. Good riddance. And i take back any boasting about my gangsta rap capabilities. I am just so well... Culturally different.

So the time after break has been a blur. Mostly due to moving into our gorgeous new house. The house is another subject entirely. That will take another post. I am trying to use as many posts as possible to avoid the crunch of an English monthly deadline. Yes readers that means we have much blogging for me and much reading for you. Will this detract from the quality of our favorite blogger. (Well. Mine. Anyway.) Maybe you should check with our quality control department. It seems that they are planning a strike and are leaving me up a tree this fine week. (See kids, this is what happens when you are stressed you blame your troubles on fabricated business divisions of your blog.) Possibly one of the craziest ever. Another blog post for later tonight. How off track have I foregone? I shall now return us to our regularly scheduled programming: what's been up. A week or two ago (One and two are such trivial numbers when in used in contexts such as this and others. Sorry I'm getting wordy. Please disregard this parenthetic statement.) one of our leaders from my weekly bible study/leadership group held a breakout event for everyone in the junior high. Mrs. Z. our awesome leader planned an awesome night with a great speaker games and pizza. Kudos to Mrs. Z. and her awesome vision for the night. I had a lot of fun. Thanks.

So of to a quick round of social media streaming and I shall be off to another post.

The Ides of March - How to Edit Yourself Anywhere

Well let's face it. March was a pretty cruddy month. I have had lot's of crazy late and unfinished homework that I am not even going to talk about right now. (For the sake of space and my personal dislike of feeling like a total retard) This month has left many bad tastes in my very hygienic mouth, depression, anger, tiredness, and more spring fever than I thought I could handle. There are tins of things I can blame for this seemingly malevolent month, but instead of writing my hate letter to March, which I had previously scheduled for this blog, I think I shall take this outstanding opportunity to talk about what is going to make April a better month. (In your face March)

1 April 1st (Starting at the begging) At the time of this writing April 1st is coincidentally the same day as tomorrow, which can only mean one thing: APRIL FOOLS DAY! And I love my April fools day. I am just foaming at the mouth with all of tomorrows opportunities. I won't go into great detail with all of my next-to-pure-evil schemes but I would be more than happy to help you with yours if you care to facebook message me.

2 Spring break! After tomorrow at 3:30 I will have 10 days of Delicious FREEDOM. That's right, and there is nothing you teachers are gonna do about it. This just makes me want to run around my house like there is a million dollars in my pocket.

3 In April we will be totally refreshed. I have a good feeling that everyone (My self included) will feel a lot nicer and more tolerant after spring break. Yeah it will be like that one clever commercial with the guy with the empty battery screen.

By the way what are the Ides or March? I looked it up and didn't help me much.

Looks like it's time for todays Technical Tip: Fun with Pictures

I love pictures they are just awesome. I like taking them, drawing them, editing them, messing with them, and most importantly tricking them out, so for the reader of mine who enjoys fun little cool projects welcome to my first little how to.

Step 1: your gonna need something good for this. Maybe you have noticed some people have taken some pictures and made put themselves in different places, or done something physically impossible in a picture. Like this

I made this one a while ago using my very favorite editor paint.net. (Not to be confused with tragically boring ugly o'l ms paint that comes pre-installed on any windows) Paint.net is one little cool program I'd recommend to anyone, along with gimp or any other decent free-ware image editor. I prefer paint.net for it's ease of use and flexibility. I'm not rolling in the benjamins right now so I can't really say I am a Photoshop guru. I also can't say I'd like to lay down like 500 bucks to get an adobe product package. But I can still be awesome with this stuffs and their is nothing wrong with that.

Step2: A project. Let's try making something simple putting ourselves somewhere else. This will look great on facebook. To start you'll need the aforementioned image editor (You can download paint.net (virus free) here Paint.net does have a few requirements so make sure you have those if your going to download) So let's begin by opening it.

Cool huh?

step 3: Get your images. Press open and get a picture of yourself from your files. (preferably next to a blank wall) Next get another image from the internet where you would like to be. (A fish tank will do nicely I am thinking bigger though http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Aquarium_tropical_-_bac_marin.JPG) Copy the image from the internet, where ever you find one. Press the new layer button on the layer window.(It's the one with a green plus sign) Once you have the new layer paste your fish tank in on this layer. Make sure that you don't expand the image if the picture is too big. Just move it around. It should look like something like this:

Step 4: Shaving. Once you have your pictures. Go to your top layer. It's time to delete your background (hopefully a wall if you were smart enough to take my advice) Your gonna want to grab the magic wand tool from the side bar. Select an area of the background and delete it by pressing the delete key. If you select part of your skin you've gone too far adjust the tolerance level at the top of your screen to a lower level. Keep doing this until you have deleted the background. While you are doing this you can see that new background behind you. (Note: If you find this process going too slow try adjusting the tolerance to a higher level.) It should look something kinda like this:

Once you finish getting what you can our of the the background you can go through the rest of the debris with the eraser tool.

Now that is awesome. But We're not quite done yet.

Step 6: Finishing touches. Now that I'm done with the shopping out background I have some options. I could edit my appearance, or change my background. Let's do both. First I'll change my size. I want it to look like I'm really in this ocean aquarium. First I selected my self with the box selection tool and then sized it down with the dark blue pointer.

Wow. I'm in the aquarium. But that's not good enough. I'd rather be in a different place so I changed it. I saved my file back when I was bigger so I could change it to another place.

Waterfall!!!!!!!!

Well that completes my little how-to. Hope it was helpful. Keep coming back for more awesome stuffs.

Have any questions? Facebook me about it.

One Might Find this Clever

As aforementioned in a previous post (Actually two) I am know an Animator. This is just a simple little project and not to be taken seriously or complained about.(Yeah yeah, I realize it has no sound)But I think this is clever.





Also watchable here for a bigger screen, and more awesomeness.

Well I Mentioned Animation

Yep. I did it. This is all I have to show for you now.

Well bloggees. (People being blogged upon) This is my promo.

Wow that Really Must of Sounded Better in the Fairy Tale.

As you can imagine with my curious mind and infinite love of sarcastic whit it is natural for me to question what most people take for granted. As you know I've already utilized these natural abilities to mutilate the classic Cinderella we all know and moderately appreciate. However today has brought to my attention one of the most gruesome stories that plague our Disney infested earth.

Today while doing some light internet browsing I turned on my television to reveal a classic: Snow White, and the seven gross middle aged bearded midgets. Now thinking about it, it didn't seem bad at the time. It's a classic, right? Well apparently I tuned in at the exactly wrong instance. I joined our favorite not-quite-a-Disney-Prince Princes while they were innocently singing about their commute to their mountain quarry vocation. ("Hi-Ho Hi-Ho it's off to work we go.") All seemed fine until a seemingly not-pretty and barely -innocent-looking old door to door apple saleswoman showed up. (Sweet muffins! I love adjectives!)

This saleswoman has some extremely bad sales techniques including scaring unaccompanied forest dwellers, faking heart issues, entering homes, and not taking no for an answer , false advertising her apples, and not taking no for an answer. Let's not forget the rest of her disturbing persona. Can you imagine a scarier face. I swore she was about to pull a bingo card out from under one of those ridiculous wrinkles. I mean come on lady. This is why Botox was invented, not for over-payed celebrities who would like to retain their youthful facial appearances, (That's right I'm looking at you Joan Rivers) but for keeping creepers like you out of our nightmares. You terrified me as a little kid, and you still terrify me now. Look you even scare kind unrealistic forest animals. Just. Disturbing.

So after an a pathetic failed attempt of the aforementioned forest animals to save their friend this saleswoman commits the fraud of convincing the unsuspecting Snow White that eating one of her products that will supposedly help her prince to fall in love with her, and live happily ever after. No matter how terrible it is to do that to an innocent forest Girl, I have to say Snow White is the most Gullible and most certainly not the brightest of the Disney Princesses. Come on. Who has ever heard of a wishing apple? I partially think she deserved the plight she received, which was the equivalent of 50 pounds of anesthesia down her throat.

As if it wasn't bad enough that this evil wicked queen gone geriatric killed Snow White, Snow White's little gnome dwarf thing buddies had to go drive her off a grotesque cliff.

Guess what it all gets better though. Snow white is put into a solid gold and glass coffin the gnome things build for her. Isn't that just lovely. I bet that's one of the perks of working in their mines: you can bury your dead in 50 lbs of pure bling. But on the other hand that's disgusting. If someone digs their 500 years later, they'll find a skeleton in a dress staring at them. Yeah well I'm so glad they never actually buried her.

They never had to because of good old prince charming who she probably met on E-harmony. Mr. Prince Pants came to pay his respects and gave her a final kiss. Apparently this kiss was either some sort of new cpr or used magic to bring her back. Well good thing this was a fairy tale cause if I kissed some dead and she came to life in my face I'd lose my lunch all over her no longer dead facial mass, much less take her on my horse to my castle in awesomeland.

I hate this gross story. Goodbye.

Animations?

Ive been messing around with some pretty cool new software. Maybe some animations are in my very awesome soon to come future. Ive just been experimenting with motion animation. Maybe this could become something. I'll be vague for now.

Why yes. That does look interesting.

The 10 Unspeakable Plights of the Typical Dentist Trip

Join me as I (a true victim of this horrific industry) show you the ten unspeakable happenings of the Dentist Office. I am a dentist Vet. I have been through infections, a root canal and numerous teeth pullings. I would love to elaborate on these gruesome experiences but the currently being digested lunch inside your stomach does not permit me this liberty lest he lose his natural place in the order of the digestive system. (That's right keep them cookies in ya belly.) Instead I shall vent my ramblings towards the more generic of experiences, ones that you yourself have encountered or are yet to encounter.

#1 That wonderful waiting room. I think the waiting room is the selling point of the entire experience, most have weird magazines sitting around (The kind that don't have jokes) or those disgusting pictures of unnatural looking filthy gross unbrushed teeth, (I love this ewaiting room decor. Wow doesn't those pictures just look like... a totally a disgusting mutilation of the human mouth.) or the increasingly popular pictures of super heros endorsing brushing and fighting crime with tooth brushes. You know the ones who are beating plack over the head with a brush or lassoing him with a floss.

#2 that creepy lady at the counter. She udders word of doom with her classic "They'll be ready for you in just a couple minuets" or when she wants to just sink your heart like a boat she'll pull out the ol' "Oh, hi they're waiting for you just down the hall"

#3 That creepy hygienist . She tries so hard to offer you some pleasant small talk while she pokes your mouth with some strange tool that your tongue tries desperately to evade for fear of being punctured. She obviously can't relate. "So, do you have a girlfriend?", "You want a prize for not screaming and crying and soiling my outfit?". Okay she is creepy

#4 That dentist lingo. So at some point that awkward almost a dentist calls in the real dentist. He pokes your mouth and ask if stuff hurts while she enters the info into the computer. They usually go back and forth with numbers like your mouth is a game of battle ship. Usually they just have misses but every once in a while they come across something: "eruption on b2". Look Mr. Dentist I have no clue what an eruption is, but I feel slightly uncomfortable with you using terms about my mouth that can also be used as volcano terminology.

#5 The unshared info. Mr. Dentist and Ms. Awkward jabber ask you lots of questions and confer among themselves about their meaning. Wouldn't it be nice to know what on earth they are talking about. Some tell you, some won't. It drives me crazy that they can't tell you. Eventually you'll hear them discuss it with the parent that brought you. You adults are lucky to not be in this position.

#6 The Taste of latex glove in your mouth. Just gross.

#7 Some dentists just can't handle kids under stress. I was once started panicing during a tooth removal. After having the shot Mr. Good with kids was asking me if I was ready to have it removed. I felt a little panicy and shook my head violently. Feeling very nervous he asked if I'd like more anesthetic. I shook again. "Are you sure" he said "I can give you another shot". Well I can't imagine what would happen if I had shook yes. I couldn't feel alot of my face until after lunch that day.

#8 The chair. If it wasn't weird enough having stranger filing through your mouth. They had to make it worse by adding that creepy chair. Everything was all fine and dandy until you started messing with that little lever and now if feel as though your going to take a jack hammer into my face. This chair feels casual at fist but then forces you under it's submission. I felt so comfy until you had to make things all weird. Now I am at the mercy of what ever tools of destruction are on that silver little tray. Not to mention that stupid light.

#9 The drive there. Too many butterflies are in my stomach when we drive towards the ol' Denty. I feel like someone is chucking tennis balls at my internal organs.

#10 The infamous statement. "You need to brush more" Last time I visited my buddy the dentist I volunteered to say it for him so he wouldn't have to go to all the trouble. Look captain clean I realize that. Next time He's got another thing coming. I have been brushing like 3 times per day and using floss and mouth wash. If one more dentist tell me that I will simply suggest that he come to my house and brush my teeth if he is so dissatisfied. So eat that Denty Man.

I Am Such A NERD!!!!

Yes it's true. This may not be news to some of you, but alas tonight I fear I have hit a new low. This is the sort of thing that would happen to some kid on a commercial. Just read.

Today I was cramming in my 5 page state report on Michigan. Everyone had to chose a state. (See how I took a short cut here?) And we had all month to finish this report, but I had of course better thing to do (And by better I mean awesome) Yeah It was pretty bad. When my mom asked how long I had to finish this project, I told her I wasn't even going to answer the question. So I went a-writing away finishing page after page until I finally got to my industry section. As you might have known Battle Creek Michigan is the home of a Post Cereal plant and one of my favorite cereals: Honey Bunches of Oats. Being in the spirit of being a nerd I took the time to elaborate on this fascinating history. Just look.

"Michigan is the birthplace of several cereal manufacturing plants. Battle Creek Michigan is home to both Kellogg and Post Cereal plants. It was in Battle Creek that Vernon j. Herzing created the predecessor of Honey Bunches of Oats (this author’s favorite cereal, which he recommends to anyone.) After becoming the facility manager Vernon combined several post cereals at the plant he worked for in Battle Creek and Created a combination of 3 cereals, sold them as one and outsold all of the other cereals. The people at post originally wanted to call it the “Battle Creek cereal”, but the name didn’t stick. They eventually decided to name the cereal “Honey Bunches of Oats”. Honey Bunches of Oats is one of the top selling cereals of today."

Maybe that doesn't look so bad to you but if you only knew how I felt. I was all excited to be able to write about my favorite cereal. I was all like "Cool now I can write about my cereal, Cool Bean curds!" If that wasn't bad enough for you, my bibliography page read something like this:

(Link1)

(Link2)

(Link3)

The back of a Honey Bunches of Oats Box.

Yeah. I regret this nerdyness but somehow I would have done it again if given the chance. Someone help my weird self.

Awesome Montage

Because I obviously do not contain enough awesome in myself to sustain the interestingness of this blog, so I have decided it's time for an Awesome Montage containing an awesome picture, quote, video, and Video. I have been surfing the interwebs and this is the pure awesome I have uncovered. So enjoy this montagetastic manifestation of magnificence.

Story

Picture: Redneck House-boat

Video

Ouch!

Today I was hit by a set of bleachers at my school. Yes. Now that you mention it, it is a funny sentence. But my own fault. Today I was running away from two of my friends with their basketball, and while attempting to chuck it away from them smashed my face into the bleachers, in the gym. I couldn't feel my face for a couple minutes. Yes, I am a nincompoop. Only one such as me can make their face go numb from their own accidental force.

Here's something interesting.

Can you not just see an infomercial in the making for this?

Ever get sick of those dull monotonous highway chases? We have the car for you. Ever wished you could just get away from it all and leave to some other country on a whim, this car is your key to instant travels. Personally I think this is a really pointless idea, well unless you want to have really interesting gas station conversations.

Cinderella. A new version

Once there was a girl named Cinderella. Cinderella's mother died when she was a baby. She was never sure why. (Though her step mother assures her it was due to obesity) She lived with her Dad for years by themselves and they were very happy. Her dad was a very successful lawn gnome salesman, the greatest in the entire kingdom. But that wasn't enough for dear old Dad. One day he met a lady named Geraldine. They dated for a few years and decided to combine their families. Cinderella, her father, and Geraldine and her two daughters moved into a big mansion together. All seemed good for Cinderella. She had a good home, her father had been recently promoted to ceo at gnome-co, and she made friends with some forest animals. Unfortunately for Cinderella 1 year later her father was killed or locked in a dungeon or was in a coma or became very busy with his job or something that involved her not being able to see him again. For years she was miserable until all that changed one fateful day.

It was a warm summer day. Cinderella’s clock barely stroke six before she was rudely awoken.
"Cinderella!" cried her step mother, "You neglected to wash my Ferrari yesterday".
"I’m terribly sorry Geraldine. I was up until 12 shining your shoes and spot-cleaning the bathroom with a tooth-brush," She replied.
"Well sorry isn't good enough you need to get back to work, and why aren't you in your janitorial uniform?"
"I'm so sorry I'll go and get ready, but before I go, could I make a request?"
"Alright but you have 15 seconds and counting"
"Couldn't we buy an electric tooth-brush? All of our neighbors' maids look so efficient cleaning their bathrooms with electric toothbrushes."
"Foolish child, I can't think of a good reason not to, since we are rolling in the benjamins and all. But since you acted so spoiled as to ask I'm going to blame it something say no. I don't know what I'm blaming it on yet, but I'll text your minimum service no-internet piece-of-junk $0.20-per-text phone when I think of it."

So Cinderella went about her work. Meanwhile Geraldine went to her office to check her email. She looked over her usual advertisements and came across an interesting email for the palace. It read:

That day Cinderella's home was abuzz with the excitement of the palace ball. While her stepmother and stepsisters were shopping she just mopped the floors, swept porch, answered mean $0.20 text messages from them, (Her Stepmother and Stepsisters that is. It would be kind of weird to be texted by your flooring) and doing other chores. By 8 o'clock she was exhausted and went up to her home theater to dust where she found Frank, her Fairy godfather watching c-span.

"Hey Frank" she said.

"What do you want now" He replied from the comfort of his reclining la-z-boy.

"Well It's just that there's this electric tooth-"

"Let me guess, you want to go to that stupid ball so you can go chill with Mr. Dancing-Pants Himself, The prince."

"Well that would be awesome but I really only-"

"I can't help you."

"Why, Frank?"

"Because"

"Frank you know that's technically not a real answ-"

"Okay Fine"

"I'll get you the stretch limo with a tennis court and surround-sound the whole sha-bang"

"Wow Frank you are the most amaz-"

"There's one condition if your gonna go hang with sir Dance-a-lot"

"What's that Frank?"

"Be back by midnight"

"Well of course, but the ball lasts til 2"

"Too bad, My magic can't last that long. I've been forced to buy discount ever since your little prince started spending my tax dollars faster than you can say a cheesy spell phrase"

"Oh..."

"Ok. Here goes"

Then Frank brought up a spell, suddenly her old 76 chevette poofed into one awesome stretch limos, and a neighbor kid turned into a street-savvy chauffeur. Her family janitorial uniform turned into a lovely gown, and her converse all stars instantly turned into glass. (which was actually more comfortable than it sounds) And with a tip of his cheesy looking hat Frank disappeared into one of those magical fairy not-environmentally-friendly pink clouds.

So Cinderella walked out of her house after grabbing her old phone which had since blossomed into a a beautiful dell windows 7 enabled laptop. (Gotta love techno magic) She got into her stretch limo, and tipped the neighbor kid who now spoke with a heavy NYC cab driver accent.

"So, where to?" he asked.

"The palace" She replied cheerily.

So she arrived in style on the red carpet. Celebrities were everywhere. The whole palace smelled of expensive perfume and sweaty guys trying to cover up their gross stench with cologne. (not one of her favorite smells) She looked over at the food table and noticed the rest of her "family" having what did not look like the time of their snotty lives.

She walked out on the dance floor. The DJ lined up tune after tune. She danced til feet hurt. Lot's of time. went by all the while she stared at the other girls all hanging out with the prince. The DJ layed down a funkalicous techno beat and the two danced their shoes off (Which they hardly even noticed) Several songs went by and the clock ticked faster than either of them could have wished. It wasn't long before the clock stroke twelve. Suddenly The prince's phone buzzed.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Oh that was just my phone", he replied, "It rings ever hour" I loose track of time easily.

"I g2g" she said running out of the palace.

"Wait" he stuttered. But it was too late she was gone.

Cinderella ran. She was unsure what surprises awaited once Frank's spell ran out of magic. She ran down the palace’s street. She got into her limo, which was waiting conveniently waited for her by the curb.

"Where to, lady?" asked her chauffeur.

"Home, and step on it," she answered.

"You got it" he chuckled, and they sped down the highway.

As you can imagine it is a very awkward situation for a police officer to find a 12 year-old driving a 17 year-old in beat up chevette down a high at 80mph. This was the sad case with our characters on the side of that highway. The officer - a nice guy who happened to have a fairy godmother and understood the situation, decided that under the (completely believable) circumstances he would let it go that time and sent them on their way. So a depressed Cinderella sulked into her room and fell asleep out of exhaustion.

At the same time the prince stood around the palace observing his staff cleaning up after the party. He seemed rather depressed as well, until he noticed something strange. Two glass converse sneakers lying on the dance floor. Before a he could udder a syllable he gasped as one of hi butlers tripped on one and flew into the air, crushing it underneath his hindquarters. The prince ran and grabbed up the other slipper. He knew tomorrow he would find his techno-dancing sweat heart.

The following day, Cinderella awoke to begin her usual routine of cleaning and such. She had worked away half the morning when she heard the doorbell ring. She walked downstairs to get it but to her dismay she saw before her a sight that shocked her to the core. There stood her wicked stepmother, Geraldine opening the door for a well dressed looking butler and the prince himself.

"Your highness!" She exclaimed, "What can I do for you this fine day?"

"Nothing more than a quick survey madam" he replied politely, "I see from our records, that you have attended our ball last night".

"Why yes sir ".

"You and your daughters is that correct"

"Yes"

"The four of you?"

"No unfortunately, My youngest was unable to attend"

"That is a shame. Could you possibly try on this sneaker madam? It was found at our ball last night."

"Why don't the two of you have a seat?" she kindly asked.

"Yes of course" replied the prince.

"I'm terribly sorry madam but I would prefer to stand" declined the butler, "My hindquarters have been hurting me terribly".

"Anyways", interjected the prince "Could this possibly be yours madam?"

"I'm sorry, I don't think that's mine", she answered "But maybe one of my girls left it. Come here girls!"

Both of Cinderella's step sisters came down from their rooms very groggy and tired. Each of them claimed to own the sneaker, hoping to impress the prince. Neither of their feet fit in the shoe to their dismay the first step sister’s foot was too large. .

"What about her?" asked the prince pointing to Cinderella.

"Oh but she wasn't even their there's no point!" replied the enraged stepmother.

"Look madam, I have been all over this country this morning, I am willing to try anything"

"Alright then"

Cinderella walked down the stairs towards the prince who of course smelled like more bad perfume and women's foot odor. She quietly tried on the sneaker and it fit perfectly.

"It was you?" exclaimed the prince.

"Yes" She sobbed.

The prince and Cinderella were eventually married. They took the glass and sold the glass slipper to converse who bought the concept for 5.4 million dollars. The two lived happily-ever-after even more filthy rich than ever before.

As for frank he got a local job teaching magic to future fairies at a community college.

Geraldine lost all her money in a gambling debt, and sold entire fortune and her bratty

daughters to pay it off. No worries. She took up residency in cheap cardboard box.

So this is the story of Cinderella.